@notzuckerberg is blocked
Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @notzuckerberg.
Everyone got an extra new year's kiss last night. You see, at midnight, I kissed each and every server that stores our users' personal data.6 retweets 8 favorites
We shortened it to 'Year in Review' from our original title of 'Year That You Carefully Curated and Presented to Your Friends in Review."9 retweets 3 favorites
The cash I get from your data is the reason for the seizin'.11 retweets 5 favorites
There are two men who keep tabs on all of you, gather data on what you like and intrude on your lives. I get vilified; Santa gets a holiday.19 retweets 16 favorites
At Facebook, we're moving away from calling all of you "users." It's more honest to just call you "the used."23 retweets 12 favorites
I'm going to especially exploit the idiots who have posted that chain-letter-type status update declaring their right to privacy.15 retweets 7 favorites
When it's cold, I press my face against a server. I'm warmed by its heat output. And by my knowledge that it's chewing through your lives.14 retweets 15 favorites
Making a "Facebook for Work" site that lets employees collaborate because I want to expand into the 10% of time you're doing work at work.14 retweets 12 favorites
I hope Facebook's new donation button for fighting Ebola doesn't water down our trademark pointlessness too much.12 retweets 7 favorites
Google+ profile pages are way better than Facebook ones if you need to quickly find out what somebody was up to two years ago.27 retweets 18 favorites
Hey, you. Yeah, you. That status you posted on Facebook has gotten way fewer likes than you were hoping for. How can you live with yourself?12 retweets 10 favorites
I hate Halloween because people are wearing masks and enjoying too much privacy.44 retweets 26 favorites
Trick-or-treating is stressful when you've already used your best trick on over a billion people.7 retweets 9 favorites
My advertising platform is wearing a 'social networking website' costume.29 retweets 11 favorites
You know how people salivate at the mere sight of food? That's how I get whenever I see someone new sign up for Facebook. So, all the time.2 retweets 5 favorites
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup.
Visit Twitter Status for more information.